Proverbs 19:11, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Today in our modern culture people’s negative feelings have been given unprecedented attention through the Internet, social media, reality TV, talk shows, and customer surveys. Certainly, people’s feelings and feedback are important in almost every aspect of life. However, all this attention can lead some people to become “hard to please,” “self-centered,” and “easily offended.”
For example, a person might get really bothered with a restaurant because their waiter brought them the wrong dish and then write a harsh online review for all to read. Not once considering the fact that the waiter might have been working a double shift, was up all night with their infant, and had correctly served 100 customers prior to their mistake. But because the angry costumer doesn’t think about the other person they take offense and spread it for all to read.
Or imagine a pastor has to hurry to an “after church meeting” on Sunday but someone quickly steps in his way and asks for “five minutes” of his time. However, the pastor knows that someone else is already waiting for him because the meeting was scheduled in advance. He then kindly responds to the person, “I’m sorry, I am not able to talk at this time, but if you would like, my assistant can help you find another pastor on staff or set an appointment with you.” Now imagine if this member gets offended and doesn’t come back to the church. They then tell all their friends; “I’ve been going to that church for years, volunteering, and giving of my finances, however, the pastor didn’t even give me five minutes of his time when I needed him most.”
The real problem is this hard to please member refused to think about the pastor’s schedule, the others who were waiting in the office, and all the previous times the pastor and church leadership was there for their family (funerals, baby dedications, counseling, etc). Just one disappointment turned to an offense that made them feel like the pastor and the church had deeply failed them. God have mercy on us all!
Jesus gave a command on how to deal with personal offenses in Matthew 18:15, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” As a result, the proper step would be to try to talk to the person and make the situation right. However, the above Proverb teaches an even better way- to not even allow yourself to get offended in the first place!
Consider the customer who received the wrong dish. All they had to do was forgive the waiter and say, “It’s okay- I’m sure you didn’t mean it- we all make mistakes.” Or the disgruntled church member could have graciously said to the pastor, “No problem Pastor, I’ll talk to one of the other Pastors on staff and if I still need help I will set an appointment.”
Could you imagine the peaceful world we would live in if everyone tried to understand the other person’s point of view before taking offense? Remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you and other people aren’t perfect. Decide to give people the grace and love that you’d appreciate if you were in their shoes. There are things in life that may be worth taking the time to confront someone over, however, for everything else- “its to one’s glory to overlook an offense!”
Do you struggle with being easily offended with people? If so, pray this out loud, “Father, please forgive me for my selfishness and short temper. Give me compassion and a loving heart for others so I can see things from their point of view. Amen.”
Reflection
Are you always expressing your negative feelings with others?
Action
- Repent if you have become touchy and hard to please in life.
- Ask God the Father to give you the heart of Jesus so you can say, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” when you are offended.
- Treat others how you would want to be treated.
